Sorry I missed posting this last week. I was not in the right frame of mind. I still had the flu bug sort of thing and I was knackered. Literally, I had no gas left in the tank and the only thing I wanted to do was sleep.
And, you know me. If I don’t post Friday, then I usually would post on Saturday. But I was in a real downer, depressed mood. I can get like that sometimes. I expend energy throughout the week at work, deal with ‘Mum’ situations, which takes more energy. My dog has a melting ulcer on her eye which is slowly, so very slowly healing, but has really knocked her confidence, (and worried me in case it doesn’t heal) plus I have to get up early across the week to let her out before she absently wets her bed a little. She is nearly 16.
So, as you can guess, that leaves little time or energy for me and that just pulls me down. Then I get in a downward cycle, play moody music (you know, the ones that are sad. The type they play at sad times in movies; think Wind beneath my Wings; Bette Midler. Or, if you know it, Visions of Gideon, played at the end of Call Me By Your Name. For me, that story reminds me of the wonder of your first love, and the deep heartbreak at the loss of it. You think back then at that young age, that you will never recover.
To top everything off, I am only 7 weeks away from my 50th, so that has been playing on my mind amongst other things.
This past week has been me trying to claw my way back. I got stressed over a work performance review, more the completion of the prep for it. I dislike those things especially when you have to come up with evidence for competencies such as Friendly or Inspirational. Who comes up with these things? But the review itself, it actually helped when I could release some of this worries and share with my boss. Someone I have known and worked with for 21 years.
I couldn’t even contemplate doing craft such as knitting, crochet or weaving. At that time, I didn’t want to be alone in my head with my depressing thoughts.
I am pretty much back to normal now though. Yay! But all this above is what I should have posted last week and hopefully benefitted from the friendship in the blogging community, who I am sure at some point or another have gone through similar shit times.
I still have the remnants of the bug, but fingers crossed it keeps leaving me. The other half has one now though!
Tomorrow, #6-20 will be posted, so until then. Night, night.